THE AMAZING SPIDER-MAN, ALL OVER AGAIN

Posted on July 4, 2012 by LiteMoteef

[This review might contain spoilers. Actually, it won’t – you’ve already seen it. 3x].

It’s pretty sad, but the trailers screened prior ‘The Amazing Spider-Man’ today would’ve sufficed. The trailer for ‘The Dark Knight Rises’ delivered the persecuted superhero; ‘Bourne Legacy’ asked who am I?; and ‘Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter’ unleashed the ex-humans. In 10 minutes they achieved what Marc Webb required 136 to do.

[Avoiding the obvious pun], if you don’t know who Webb is, then it’s ’cos his only other flick is ‘(500) Days of Summer’. Enough said. My problem with ‘The Amazing Spider-Man’ isn’t that it’s yet another sequel outta the Hollywood machine – it’s a very premature remake. It should’ve been called ‘Spider-Man: The Slightly Tweaked Version’, starring Andrew Garfield not Tobey Maguire.

Here’s the story (+ tweaks): Peter Parker isn’t strong and is beaten up at school (but he still stands up for himself); Peter Parker is in love with somebody else’s girl (but she’s blonde and played by Emma Stone); P.P. is bitten in a lab (but not whilst he’s on a school excursion); P.P. becomes really strong and can stick to buildings (but his webs are manmade); P.P.’s enemy is obsessed with perfection and only half-evil (but he’s a green lizard, not a green goblin); P.P.’s Uncle Ben is killed by a petty thief (but this time the thief steals from a convenience store), which then launches Parker’s career as a vigilante… and so on.

Beyond these changes, I found it slower than the other Spidey movies. It didn’t feel like a final cut, though I don’t blame the editors (their repertory includes ‘Gladiator’, ‘The Green Mile’ and ‘Prometheus’). Rather I blame Webb. He must’ve failed to make a few directorial decisions i.e. whether a moment was comedic or dramatic, whose scene it was, general directing stuff etc. Yes, in Webb’s defense the screenplay was weak, maybe because Sony Entertainment’s primary motive was to keep the rights to Spider-Man, not produce quality cinema.

Andrew Garfield is good to watch – something different. No longer Maguire’s nerdy teen, Peter Parker’s a cheeky outsider with a skateboard and camera. I know I’ve already made mince meat of Webb, but with Emma Stone’s weak performance, I can’t help wondering if Garfield’s portrayal is due solely to his talents and his talents alone. But then again, the shit script. It contained only 1 character and a handful of warm props.

‘The Amazing Spider-Man’ opened today in Australia. If you’re rich and bored, buy a ticket.